I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
