watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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