I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
