Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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