She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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