Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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