i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
