The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
