I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he thought i was a dude.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
