Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
our cab driver is having phone sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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