If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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