I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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