I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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