You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
