I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
