Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
