I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize