even my farts smell like vagina
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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