Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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