There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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