I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
