We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
