dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
