waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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