woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need a hoe opinion
go on
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
