He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
