I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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