Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
