So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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