i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A+ Viking dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize