I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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