i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
