Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
