just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
