One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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