It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
