I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Come on in and take your pants off
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize