great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
