i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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