i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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