So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize