i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
