this beer tastes like vomit already
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
