yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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