Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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