Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I have post one night stand depression
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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