____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
