i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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