the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.