Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.