I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.