The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
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You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship