If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over