Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
