There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it's great music for shaving your balls
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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