I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize