The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
