It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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