I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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