woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
