no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
